The transcendent wisdom of Goodbyes...

Hello!

I know I've been missing out on writing for quite some time, but that's what happens when one of your brothers gets married.*yippeee* So what I'm posting now is a piece I had written in the first week of January when my real-brother left town. It's just something I observed and deduced, funnily. Here it comes... Happy reading!

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I'm not a  frequent traveler, but I've had my share of travelling as well as of picking and dropping people up from airports and railway stations (no, that does NOT include local railway stations). Thus, over a period of time, I've chanced upon observing people and their very peculiar goodbyes (including my own, but hey, you're never gonna know which category I fall in *smirk*).

So after a dropping my brother off at the airport last week, I have constructed the following different TYPES of  goodbyes and qualities which they are typical to, owing to my abysmally superior observation skills (I make myself sound so cool). Here comes my findings, folks!
NOTE: The subject would be referred to as the Goodbyeee. (read: goodbye-ee. Like, trustee, franchisee; geddit, geddit?)

1. The "Mummy" Goodbyeee: 
Attributes:
a) Impressions of near anxiety attacks
b) Gives the goodbyeee140+ mmHg pulse rate feeling
c) Results in you looking for places to hide your face (which might just be in the hold of unbreakable hugs and loud sobs. Tough.)

The Mummy Goodbye happens to be the most dreadful type of goodbye. Of course, like the name suggests, mummy-jis are the most common sufferers of such goodbyes; which probably makes this the most commonly experienced type of goodbye.

Going for a long trip? Boo-hooooo.... Going for a trek? Boo-hooooo... Going to study? Boo-hooooo.... Going for a holiday? Boo-hoooo.... Going for a party? Boo-hooooo.... Going to buy vegetables? Boo-hooooo....
Been there, done that? *ahem* Happens.

This type of goodbye can most commonly be found at airports and railway stations. I have observed Aunty-jis who could give you a sense of survival after the goodbye, but some could also be making you wish for the apocalypse in the Goodbye-MCQ's.

Thus, beware, my dear friend, for if you have experienced the Mummy Goodbye before, be prepared. Some water, a handkerchief and a flight ticket that departs or arrives before their favorite TV serial show begins, are some advised forms of medication. Like Professor Moody would say, Constant Vigilance!

2. The "Daddy" goodbyeee: 
Attributes: 
a) Quick hug
b) Pat on shoulder/back
c) No tears shed by Goodbyeee *phew*

This is by far the most cheerful type of goodbye in my opinion. Thanks to the centuries of build-up of the male traits (read: ego), the Goodbyee (mostly male), will shed no tear. Furthermore, the goodbye would be so quick that it would take you 24 hours more to realize the person is away.

The name again makes it very clear. A quick hug, a pat on the back would also occasionally be followed by the Goodbyeee adding a word of command such as, "Take care of the family," "Be back home on time every night," "Be responsible,"(as if) "Help your mother do grocery shopping" (ha-ha.) But, in addition to that word of responsibility, this goodbye also involves the Goodbyeee opening his wallet and giving you some extra cash for "emergency situations." Didn't I say this was the most cheerful type? Betcha. :D

3. The "Bro" Goodbyeee:
Attributes:
1. No fuss
2. No tears
3. No extra pocket money either. *bah!*

Another very, very pleasant good-bye. It's almost so pleasant that you might think to yourself, "Why the hell did I ditch that movie and come?" But then again, it's pleasant, so no big deal.    
The Goodbyeee might just be really excited to go and you could be the one with wet eyes.
Like the attributes say, you won't be making any goodbye cash profit on this one; but life's like that most time of the year, ain't it?
So if it's this Goodbyeee you are dropping at the airport, fret not, just go on for some time pass.
You might even be treated to some coffee and a pack of Lays wafers. (Junk rules!)
Plus, you might just end up writing something probably as irrelevant as this. Just saying.

4. The "Sister" Goodbyeee:
Attributes:
1. Confusing.
2. Possibly embarrassing.
3. Red eyes and a thin voice.

This is a usually tricky type of goodbye. Like the name suggests, it is atypical to girls and young women. Elaborating on the attributes, it can be confusing because these type of Goodbyee's want to cry but don't want to show it. Worst part is attribute number 3. Their eyes are red and maybe even watery. Their voice gets thin because they're trying so hard to not sob over the departure.
What's tricky about that? The fact that you know it!
If it were me, I wouldn't know how to react to such a situation.
Should I hug? Should I say something sentimental or nice? Should I buy a pack of tissues? Should I shut up and leave? Should I...?

And, my friend, that's what makes it embarrassing, because bloody hell, the Goodbyeee knows you know what she/he knows. Know what I mean? So now you have the added pressure on your head to make it as cheerful as you can.
TIP: If you're someone with a sense of humor like that of Chandler Bing's, please SHUT UP AND LEAVE.


So my few, precious readers, THAT was the final result of deep, thought-provoking, research. (I'm exaggerating again.)

I'm sure y'all learnt a lot, but I think I should add a word or two on how to really tackle some long distance goodbyes in public interest.

How do you REALLY prepare for/tackle goodbyes?

• Instead of making yourself and the other person sob at the station, have a good, informal chat and say your goodbye before you all leave; so you'll be done with all the crying and everyone would have had a chance to say what they wanted to say.
• Have light and breezy conversations on your way and at the airport. Talk about future plans such as what you will do after the guests have left or what the Goodbyeee intends to do after they leave your place. If  you both have just attended a wedding/party/event together, gossiping seems a good thing to do. :P
• Think you or someone else is big weeper or too weak at goodbyes? Then send the emotionally-strong one amongst you to drop the Goodbyeee. 

Hope you enjoyed reading. Feel free to add or subtract to this one!

Au revoir,
Miss Bee.

P.S.- What type of Goodbyeee could I have been just now? Guess, guess.

P.P.S- Here's a goodbye song for you!

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